Whatever happens in grave darkness will eventually come to light. Supressing the underlying fundamental truth with a superficial smile and half-hearted fixed smile remains conveniently utilized for our own benefecial protection, thus showing a calculated vulnerability and vastly cagey approach in the process, for better or worse. Living an explicit lie bears the supreme weight of the entire world on our own shoulders. This is affectionately called a happy mask. It is specifically designed to fully ensure that we are fully protected at all times from how others invariably perceive us and our emotions. When sporting this adopted functional mask of perceived happiness, we are essentially harming ourselves in the long term, whether emotionally or psychologically. Ultimately, we lose our greater sensibilities of warmth, truth and love toward others we dearly hold close.
Unmistakably, everything evidently appears wholesomely idyllic on the great western front that we have expertly created when experiencing adversity or personal acrimony. One individual could be experiencing deep financial woes, rocky relationship issues, a burgeoning family crisis, long-term unemployment, immeasurable health complications, unexplainable isolation, intense bullyism or even domestic abuse. Every individual experiences some form of the aforementioned challenges and problematic woes at some stage in their lifetime, whether majorly or somewhat miniscule.
You see, wearing a functional mask is not a viable option to dissipate the given scenario. Consulting with a beloved family member or trusted friend who can receptively act as a respected soundboard is a credible option to overcome the overcompensation in making others happy when we are dying inside. Why do we conceal our biggest secrets and underlying problems with masking? Personal privacy and/or a tormented past may be logical reasons. It is entirely up to the individual whether they long to take off the mask. However, harboring the weight of the world inside is the root of depression and misery from within. Many individuals live with depression unknowingly and it is no laughing matter at all. If you see a close friend or family member with sadness in their eyes and a secret pseudo smile, endeavor to ask them how their day has been and be inviting and not intrusive in manner.
Suffering is a necessary evil in this life that demons have presented against our own wishes irrespective of being guided by positivity, faith and clean living. Not so good things often happen to better individuals and we often ask ourselves “Why me?”. We start to believe that our wishes have been unanswered and place the blame on others except ourselves. We start to believe that the world is closing in on us and that there is no way out. There is one way out when we drop the masks that we wear and reclaim who we are within.
Largely pretending that everything is perfectly fine is a deceptionally delusional tactic that convinces ourselves that we need to neglect our own challenges. The truth does indeed hurt, yet emancipating ourselves from the sea of psychological pollution that has intoxicated our minds will serve as a gateway in moving forward. Honesty is the best policy. When we are brutally honest with ourselves, we will find the inner strength to be authentic and equally honest with those around and closest to us.
We want to make others happy in playing the martyr in the name of not being attacked nor criticized for being selfish or immoral. Furthermore, we tend to agree in unison when wearing the proverbial people pleasing mask, which leads us to being afraid to go against the grain of what our peers, friends and loved ones state during conversations. Meanwhile, sporting the mask of anger opens up a whole different can of worms, particularly given that it is more vividly transparent and forthright in the individual exhibiting their truest emotions for the world to see, which in turn becomes a negative energy and vice for those around.
To formally agree in no longer using the masks will take due time, although the enriching process will find ourselves reclaiming the individual that we once knew. It will take one step at a time as part of our personal journey to inner joy and immense happiness. Accept your truest feelings and create a journal on how each respective day has treated you, whilst creating a definitive list on pro’s and con’s in regards to what you have enjoyed and disliked about your day and/or life in general. Are you in an abusive relationship/friendship? Are you experiencing financial difficulties? Are you newly single and feel alone? These experiences can – and will – be altered. Coping with emotional pain can be significantly difficult, and each experience differentiates from the next individual. Speaking with like-minded individuals who have weathered the storm will prove positively assuring.
Eliminating the invisible masks begins when facing external fears, alongside facing inevitable criticism along the way from those who feel their two cents are worth more than they are worth in actuality. The glorious road to being yourself once again is not an insurmountable journey. Are you wearing a mask? If so, unveiling that very mask and truly revealing and reclaiming the real person within will show the entire world that you are not alone. In a world of imperfect angels and tortured souls, we are all exercising the golden option to become who we really are opposed to what others want us to be. Are you wearing a mask?
W| By Dean Perretta @DeanPerretta