#SelfHelp| Mixed Emotions: Are You Wearing A Mask?

Whatever happens in grave darkness will eventually come to light. Supressing the underlying fundamental truth with a superficial smile and half-hearted fixed smile remains conveniently utilized for our own benefecial protection, thus showing a calculated vulnerability and vastly cagey approach in the process, for better or worse. Living an explicit lie bears the supreme weight of the entire world on our own shoulders. This is affectionately called a happy mask. It is specifically designed to fully ensure that we are fully protected at all times from how others invariably perceive us and our emotions. When sporting this adopted functional mask of perceived happiness, we are essentially harming ourselves in the long term, whether emotionally or psychologically. Ultimately, we lose our greater sensibilities of warmth, truth and love toward others we dearly hold close.

Unmistakably, everything evidently appears wholesomely idyllic on the great western front that we have expertly created when experiencing adversity or personal acrimony. One individual could be experiencing deep financial woes, rocky relationship issues, a burgeoning family crisis, long-term unemployment, immeasurable health complications, unexplainable isolation, intense bullyism or even domestic abuse. Every individual experiences some form of the aforementioned challenges and problematic woes at some stage in their lifetime, whether majorly or somewhat miniscule.

You see, wearing a functional mask is not a viable option to dissipate the given scenario. Consulting with a beloved family member or trusted friend who can receptively act as a respected soundboard is a credible option to overcome the overcompensation in making others happy when we are dying inside. Why do we conceal our biggest secrets and underlying problems with masking? Personal privacy and/or a tormented past may be logical reasons. It is entirely up to the individual whether they long to take off the mask. However, harboring the weight of the world inside is the root of depression and misery from within. Many individuals live with depression unknowingly and it is no laughing matter at all. If you see a close friend or family member with sadness in their eyes and a secret pseudo smile, endeavor to ask them how their day has been and be inviting and not intrusive in manner.

Suffering is a necessary evil in this life that demons have presented against our own wishes irrespective of being guided by positivity, faith and clean living. Not so good things often happen to better individuals and we often ask ourselves “Why me?”. We start to believe that our wishes have been unanswered and place the blame on others except ourselves. We start to believe that the world is closing in on us and that there is no way out. There is one way out when we drop the masks that we wear and reclaim who we are within.

Largely pretending that everything is perfectly fine is a deceptionally delusional tactic that convinces ourselves that we need to neglect our own challenges. The truth does indeed hurt, yet emancipating ourselves from the sea of psychological pollution that has intoxicated our minds will serve as a gateway in moving forward. Honesty is the best policy. When we are brutally honest with ourselves, we will find the inner strength to be authentic and equally honest with those around and closest to us.

We want to make others happy in playing the martyr in the name of not being attacked nor criticized for being selfish or immoral. Furthermore, we tend to agree in unison when wearing the proverbial people pleasing mask, which leads us to being afraid to go against the grain of what our peers, friends and loved ones state during conversations. Meanwhile, sporting the mask of anger opens up a whole different can of worms, particularly given that it is more vividly transparent and forthright in the individual exhibiting their truest emotions for the world to see, which in turn becomes a negative energy and vice for those around.

To formally agree in no longer using the masks will take due time, although the enriching process will find ourselves reclaiming the individual that we once knew. It will take one step at a time as part of our personal journey to inner joy and immense happiness. Accept your truest feelings and create a journal on how each respective day has treated you, whilst creating a definitive list on pro’s and con’s in regards to what you have enjoyed and disliked about your day and/or life in general. Are you in an abusive relationship/friendship? Are you experiencing financial difficulties? Are you newly single and feel alone? These experiences can – and will – be altered. Coping with emotional pain can be significantly difficult, and each experience differentiates from the next individual. Speaking with like-minded individuals who have weathered the storm will prove positively assuring.

Eliminating the invisible masks begins when facing external fears, alongside facing inevitable criticism along the way from those who feel their two cents are worth more than they are worth in actuality. The glorious road to being yourself once again is not an insurmountable journey. Are you wearing a mask? If so, unveiling that very mask and truly revealing and reclaiming the real person within will show the entire world that you are not alone. In a world of imperfect angels and tortured souls, we are all exercising the golden option to become who we really are opposed to what others want us to be. Are you wearing a mask?



W| By Dean Perretta                                       @DeanPerretta    

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#BeInspired|“What Doesn’t Kill You, Makes You Stronger.”

We have all heard this saying, or have even used it in our daily lives, but the meaning behind these word serves a greater purpose and act as great encouragement. Life is not easy and no matter how priviledged you are, no matter what race or what gender or whatever difference there is that distinguishes us from one individual to the next; we are all at some point bound to face challenging times.

Everyone has a story to tell, including yourself—a story that involves you being close to giving up, or even close to death—but through it all, you didn’t die, nor did you give up and as a result it made you into a stronger person. Don’t you dare play down your triumphs or try to compare your issues to that of another. If whatever you have been through has impacted your life in someway, don’t disregard what you have endured. Instead, celebrate that you were able to overcome and prevail no matter what.

There are a lot of problems and obstacles that we have had to experience in our own individual lives, that if it were anyone else, they may have not lived to tell the tale, but you endured through it, and you’re able to tell the story to someone else who may need it for their own empowerment.

overcoming obstacles

This saying is very clichéd, but life can get to a point where you don’t want to go on anymore—or you feel as if you’ve reached the end and there is nothing more that you can do— but there is so much more to do! Do not give up on yourself, everything you are facing at this very moment in time is what you need to empower and develop within yourself. You are more powerful that you recognise; tap in to your inner strength, unleash the winner and reign triumphant.  The only thing you need to focus your thought pattern on is that you  is believe that you can—believe that you are strong enough and believe that you can and will keep going.

It’s so easy to after one set back after another; give up on life and believe that you were only here to exist; not to live. But, trust me whenI say; there is something far greater that you have to accomplish and you will make it happen because you was born for greatness.

Everything that you have been through, hasn’t killed you, but has undoubtedly made you into a stronger person, and a person that someone can look up to for encouragement.

Keep Striving, Keep Believing, Keep Going.





W| By Diana Nortey                            @LadyDeevine

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#BeInspired| The Power Of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not essentially about how we feel. Forgiveness is not an emotion. Forgiveness is a voluntary choice. To live a fruitful life of forgiveness is to reside in unbridled freedom and happiness. For all intents and purposes, forgiveness is a righteous act that is easier said than done. We often deeply hurt the ones that we dearly love and endear the most, whilst selfishly overlooking the draconian consequences that inevitably await thereafter our questionable actions and words. In fully rectifying these actions and very words, there are numerous times when we have to seek the purity and upright virtue within our heart to be fully receptive in giving one the benefit of the doubt, or alternatively exhibit full responsibility and maturation in accepting our own transgressional errors as human beings. Second chances in forgiveness come in an array of unique forms – relationships, careers, faith, and friendships.

Harboring a personal vendetta becomes burdensome, and burying the hatchet will rightfully ensure that the bridge that you took a long time time to build with a certain individual will not be broken. You see, two wrongs do not equate to one being right. Forgiveness doesn’t always constitute a reconciliation to rekindle a loving or unconditional bond that was once prosperous, rather showing convictional forgiveness to the individual who is no longer a part of your life. Life is indeed too short. One can forgive, even if we opt to not forget. It’s not what you deliver in forgiveness, rather how you deliver it when offering sincere forgiveness.


Most frequently, even the most trusted relationships and friendships hit sour notes periodically.  Miscommunication, a distant relationship, walking on eggshells, deep secrets, blatant lies, mass unappreciation and disregard invariably lead to conflict irrespective of our greater intentions. Emotions are widely varied and powerful, and can obliterate a friendship or relationship in seconds. During the aftermath of a confrontation or dispute, strategically evaluate your underlying motives, logic and heart as to how things could have been dealt with or how you can grow from such experience moving forward. Each experience differentiates thereafter confrontation, thus enacting a timeline for a potential apology should be set in stone if you long to salvage what has been broken.

The golden road to being offered the ultimate second chance is courtesy of humble accountability for the blame. In relationships, immaturity is cited as a factor for failure. Communication is vastly paramount in all relationships and friendships, particularly as long as the balance of interactional dialog is positively healthy and not obsessively compulsive. Many individuals firmly subscribe to the theory of the grass being greener on the other side, and in turn they often don’t know what they have until it’s gone in hindsight. We often take individuals in our life for granted, whilst forgetting how they may directly influence, inspire and speak into our own lives in one way or another.

As human beings, we are not perfect by a long shot and never will be. Asking for sincere forgiveness offers an ideal chance to learn more about ourselves and the individual, whether the token of the apology is fully accepted or not. Forgiveness is an action which many refuse to opt for due to ignorant notions of it being a sign of feebleness, gullibility and weakness opposed to strength, empowerment and accountability. Pride plays its part unknowingly during contemplation of forgiveness. Placing full closure on one less than positive experience, action or moment brings powerful enrichment back into our natural and spiritual being moving forward.

How many times have you been forgiven in your own life? The human experience of forgiveness remains endless, whereas the positive signs in which you have exhibited will enhance your existence and personal happiness forever. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. The power of forgiveness pays dividends.

 W| By Dean Perretta                                    @DeanPerretta

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