University is a very tricky period of your life. It’s a 3+ year spell where you have to be independent and will likely decide on what you want to do for a proper career. There’s a lot that can happen at uni, you can change into a completely different person to the one that rolled up on day one in the first year.
Amongst all the partying and studying, there is one other thing that’s often under the microscope in uni; your love life. It’s a time where people enter multiple relationships or end up in a serious one for the first time. When you’re surrounded by people that you may be attracted to, it’s easy to try things out and look for a relationship.
The question is; do relationships at uni actually work? Are they worthwhile, or will they hamper your studies and cause you more pain than good? There are plenty of arguments for both sides, so I thought it would be good to have a look at them and figure out if relationships will work or not when you’re at university.
Yes, They Work
If you actually look at some studies, it will show you that around a fifth of people meet the love of their life during university. It’s a great place to meet people with similar interests to you. There’s more chance of you meeting someone compatible during uni than if you were just out in the real world playing the field. Plus, you’re going to be spending lots of time around the same people, so it’s a brilliant way to get to know someone This means you can really develop a good bond and connection with a person, so your form a very strong relationship that lasts.
Some people will testify that relationships at uni work because they put you in situations that test the strength of your relationship. For example, many people meet in the first year and are sharing a house by their final year. This means when they graduate, they know if they’re compatible or not or if they can live with one another. So, if they wanted to find a place to live after uni, it’s not a massive step anymore as they already experienced living together during their studies.
No, They Don’t Work
There are lots of people you talk to that tell you to avoid university relationships at all costs. They just don’t work. Why? One of the main arguments is that relationships can distract you from your studies. You become infatuated with someone and seeing them moves to the top of your priority list. You spend too much time with them and not enough time doing your work. As a result, you end up cramming loads, and your results suffer.
Another reason is that they’re simply too risky and you can’t really trust people in uni. There are lots of students that go to uni looking for a bit of fun and nothing else. They’re reckless, they get drunk, and before you know it you’re waking up next to them and taking the morning after pill, regretting your decisions. They might talk to you after, and you may go on another date and have another two or three nights of fun. Hell, it may even last a week or two. But, in the end, they grow bored because they don’t want anything serious, and you’re left feeling embarrassed and hurt. The hard thing is differentiating between who actually wants a serious relationship, and who just wants a few nights of fun.
You can see there are two clear sides of this argument. On the one hand, people think that relationships at uni work because they get you ready for a serious relationship out in the real world after your studies. On the other hand, people think that relationships are simply a distraction and that you’ll never find a permanent partner anyway.
In truth, the conclusion is almost a mixture of two arguments. If you find the right person, then there’s no reason a relationship at uni won’t work. It can definitely strengthen your bond and show if you’re truly compatible. But, the key is avoiding all the rubbish relationships that are just quick flings and won’t work out. My advice? To quote one of the world’s most famous gingers, Ed Sheeran, the club isn’t the best place to find love.’ If most of your relationships are formed on nights out, there’s every chance they won’t work. Join societies or talk to people on your course and you have more chance of success.