Forgiveness is not essentially about how we feel. Forgiveness is not an emotion. Forgiveness is a voluntary choice. To live a fruitful life of forgiveness is to reside in unbridled freedom and happiness. For all intents and purposes, forgiveness is a righteous act that is easier said than done. We often deeply hurt the ones that we dearly love and endear the most, whilst selfishly overlooking the draconian consequences that inevitably await thereafter our questionable actions and words. In fully rectifying these actions and very words, there are numerous times when we have to seek the purity and upright virtue within our heart to be fully receptive in giving one the benefit of the doubt, or alternatively exhibit full responsibility and maturation in accepting our own transgressional errors as human beings. Second chances in forgiveness come in an array of unique forms – relationships, careers, faith, and friendships.

Harboring a personal vendetta becomes burdensome, and burying the hatchet will rightfully ensure that the bridge that you took a long time time to build with a certain individual will not be broken. You see, two wrongs do not equate to one being right. Forgiveness doesn’t always constitute a reconciliation to rekindle a loving or unconditional bond that was once prosperous, rather showing convictional forgiveness to the individual who is no longer a part of your life. Life is indeed too short. One can forgive, even if we opt to not forget. It’s not what you deliver in forgiveness, rather how you deliver it when offering sincere forgiveness.


Most frequently, even the most trusted relationships and friendships hit sour notes periodically.  Miscommunication, a distant relationship, walking on eggshells, deep secrets, blatant lies, mass unappreciation and disregard invariably lead to conflict irrespective of our greater intentions. Emotions are widely varied and powerful, and can obliterate a friendship or relationship in seconds. During the aftermath of a confrontation or dispute, strategically evaluate your underlying motives, logic and heart as to how things could have been dealt with or how you can grow from such experience moving forward. Each experience differentiates thereafter confrontation, thus enacting a timeline for a potential apology should be set in stone if you long to salvage what has been broken.

The golden road to being offered the ultimate second chance is courtesy of humble accountability for the blame. In relationships, immaturity is cited as a factor for failure. Communication is vastly paramount in all relationships and friendships, particularly as long as the balance of interactional dialog is positively healthy and not obsessively compulsive. Many individuals firmly subscribe to the theory of the grass being greener on the other side, and in turn they often don’t know what they have until it’s gone in hindsight. We often take individuals in our life for granted, whilst forgetting how they may directly influence, inspire and speak into our own lives in one way or another.

As human beings, we are not perfect by a long shot and never will be. Asking for sincere forgiveness offers an ideal chance to learn more about ourselves and the individual, whether the token of the apology is fully accepted or not. Forgiveness is an action which many refuse to opt for due to ignorant notions of it being a sign of feebleness, gullibility and weakness opposed to strength, empowerment and accountability. Pride plays its part unknowingly during contemplation of forgiveness. Placing full closure on one less than positive experience, action or moment brings powerful enrichment back into our natural and spiritual being moving forward.

How many times have you been forgiven in your own life? The human experience of forgiveness remains endless, whereas the positive signs in which you have exhibited will enhance your existence and personal happiness forever. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. The power of forgiveness pays dividends.





 W| By Dean Perretta                                    @DeanPerretta

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