Now I always aim to be pretty ‘PC’ (“politically correct” for those who don’t know! ) when it comes to my sharing inspirational insights. However, today is one of those days where I don’t want to sugar coat my content.
Not so long ago, I became almost suddenly overwhelmed that maybe the dream I had envisioned for my magazine and my life was unobtainable and not within my reach. It’s most probably a dream that was made and pre-packaged by and for someone else; it just so happened that little miss dreamer from Peckham thought for a second she could switch on her inner Beyonce and ‘Run the World’. She could and would build a positive lifestyle brand that would encourage and empower as much people as she possibly could to Dream, Believe and Achieve and make their lives better; all within the comfy confines of her living room.
But then, reality struck and the goals and deadline I had set for myself just didn’t happen in the timeline I had originally made and fast forward to 2017; I’m once again in ‘that’ living room, surrounded by endless to do lists and ideas that I know I can make happen; but just haven’t got the energy (or time) to turn into fruition.
For the first time, I had to admit that I was scared ‘s**tless’ because maybe, just maybe; I may have bitten off a lot more than I can chew.
I am still, more than ever before, passionate about wanting to help others change their lives and I do want to make a lasting difference in the lives of others. I want to always produce top quality content that will have an impact on the lives of those women (and men) that read it. However, I do feel that as confident as I have always been. I have allowed fear; whether it be the fear of failure or the fear of what others think or expect of me to overshadow my accomplishments.
It is only now in 2017 that I am entertaining the idea of writing a book (well a series of books actually) or doing workshops because if I be completely honest with you; I’ve been scared of the outcome of these ventures.
I’ve allowed that negative voice to take centre stage in my narrative and make me think of all the bad things that could happen if I begin to take these ventures forward.
Here are a few of them: (You may recognise your own negative thinking in some of these thought patterns)
- What if I put on an event or seminar and no one comes?
- What if they do come but don’t think the event/workshop or seminar was worth the money of their time
- What if I write a book but no one likes it; scrap that what if they like it but still don’t want to buy it?
- Will I ever have the time to put a book a book together in theory; let alone write it in practice?
- Will I ever be recognised in the way I have dreamed of for the work I do?
The list is endless!
The truth is that in order to move forward and progress, it is vital that you don’t sugar coat how you’re feeling. It’s even more important that you don’t surpress or deny your fears.
For the first time I am really allowing myself to feel the doubts, the fears made even more acute because as a 32 year old woman who wants to have children and still hold onto her dream and have the family life, but still realise THAT dream, it’s difficult not to feel like I have a clock ticking against me and it’s hard to be completely calm and okay with that.
Even so, with all this being said; I JUST CAN’T QUIT! I JUST WON’T QUIT ! and I’ll tell you why.
If your dreams do not scare the hell out of you every single day of your life; they’re not BIG enough. If you don’t from time to time feel petrified by the road ahead and wonder how you’re going to travel it; you’re dreaming and thinking is too small. We grow by stretching ourselves, through dreaming and setting the highest and most grandest goals for our lives. Which will force us to step outside of our comfort zone.
Condition yourself through meditating, saying affirmations and setting achievable action steps to take each day, no matter how small.
Writing and the creation of In-spire LS and all the strands that transcend from within it; is everything to me and I’ve allowed the beliefs, opinions and behaviours of so many outside influences to impact my self belief, my work and even my motives!
Feeling this fear has been both a carthartic and liberating experience for me. Facing up to my fears and allowing myself to feel each and every one of them has only served to strengthen my resolve and fuel my passion much more than it ever had before. I can honestly say that now in its aftermath, not only do I believe that I can do it, it’s awoken something more profound within me. I now truly BELIEVE in myself and my dreams.
If you go to bed thinking about your dreams and goals for your life, and throughout your day to day routine it is still on your mind; then this is something you should never ever give up on.
I’m now planning those books; in fact I’m currently plotting out 2! I’m planning those seminars too and I’m writing and sharing and expanding and growing more than I have ever before.
Being scared to move forward is just a sign from the universe pushing you to keep going. It is challenging you to feel the fear; feel it as intensely as possible but no matter what, do it anyway.
If any of the above resonates with you, if your dreams are keeping you up at night and seem too big and too far out of your reach… don’t you dare give up on them and never allow that fear to kill them.
There’s an acronym for fear that I always like to remind myself of : False Evidence Appearing Real.
And always remember this…..
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”